BYTHECATHEDRAL

GAY PRIDE & FASHION DON'TS

It was the Gay Pride parade yesterday, and I completely forgot. The joys of living in Brooklyn is sometimes you miss the big things in Manhattan. I missed a parade of Gays/Lesbian and etc. parading down the street. Loud music playing. Throwing beads into the audience.

This reminds me - a couple of years ago I went to the Gay Pride Parade with a friend of mine. We ran into this hottie from high school who turned out to be gay. Anyway. We are standing on the sidewalk. All of a sudden beaded necklaces are heading are way. It hits one woman in the eye. All the people surrounding her are mumbling, "Oww. Shit. Ugh. OW". All of them attacked. It was hilarious.

Anyway - missed the parade. The only reason I knew about it was because all the lesbians were coming back home. We have a large lesbian community. We have a large baby carriage community. We have a large lesbians with baby carriages community. Anyway - I noticed the pride colored clothing. Women wrapped around each other.  Apparently refusing to let go for a second. Even if someone is headed their way.  I saw this one woman with a pride flag tank top, and short shorts. It was cute, but on her body it didn't work.

I am not a source of fashion. I have my jeans, t-shirt, flip flops and I am good to go. If I am on the subway I am looking around and thinking, "Oh honey, that doesn't work." Here is my biggest pet peeve. Women in tight tight jeans, and short tops. Here is the problem- the fat is overflowing on the jeans. They don't seem to have a problem with exposing the fact that their jeans don't fit.

My biggest problem when it comes to going out - is what do I feel comfortable in? If you live in New York - you are competing against hot women. You want to look like a hot woman. You want your guy to think, "I am with a hot woman."

I won in that respect one night. We are walking down the street and some random guy says, "You are a lucky man". This made his day as he quickly repeated the comment to me.

NO LONGER #1

"antonia banderas" gay sex. I'm no longer in the top 10.

FOUND

The kids that have been missing were found. They were in the trunk of a car. It is interesting that the police looked in the sewers, the river, and the woods looking for these children. The entire time they were in the trunk of a car a feet away where they were missing. It is still a question if it was foul play or not.

POINT OUT

1) I don't know how to sit on my hands and do nothing.

2) If you look up ["antonia banderas" gay sex] on Google I am in the top 10.

3) The guy I am seeing is jumping on my pet peeve. How hard can it be to call? This is why I will never be in a relationship with him. Okay, kind of harsh. How hard can it be to call?

4) I have a pimple smack on my cheek. It is huge. I am slathering on Clearasil at night. I mean SLATHER ON MY ENTIRE CHEEK.

5) I think I found a new friend. Orbicon.

PAGE SIX

Ed Klein’s new biography on Hillary Clinton says that she was a total dyke and chowed box. Or was maybe just friends with women at Wellesley, God forbid.
                                                                page six - NY Post         NY Post - Page Six.

Sorry folks. I have to register to read the rest, and I don't want to do that. If you do...click on the link above.

CAN'T GET OVER THIS

I think when Tom Cruise starts pointing at people, "I care about you. I care about your children. I care about these people here in this room. I mean it.  That is not just words to me..." Tom

That is when I start to crack up.

I care about you too Tom. Sign me up. I am achin' for some Scientology. 

TOM - BATSHIT CRAZY

batshit

I know everyone is talking about Tom Cruise right now - cuz he is freaking insane. Check out this link  from TVGASM . I know it is all editing, but that brief moment between laughter and complete seriousness is hilarious.

As TVGASM points out:

When our friend at Access Hollywood told us to Tivo tonight's special half-hour dedicated to Tom Cruise, we knew something had to be up. After all, we were still reeling from his loopy, "I swear I'm in love!" performance on Oprah where he became daytime television's reigning couch-surfer. Well, we weren't disappointed. The Billy Bush exposé revealed that Tom might be nuttier than we ever thought. He rebuked psychology, saying there was no science behind it, and when asked about people who've sworn they've been helped by therapy (people including Brooke Shields), a disdainful Tom simply replied "Look at their lives." Yes, all those pitiful people who don't have fifteen blockbusters to their name. FOR SHAME, heathen non-superstars! How you have relied on your elixirs and so-called brain sciences to cure your problems!

Anyway, enjoy this very brief montage of Tommy boy on Access Hollywood, and be sure to watch how in the first clip Cruise switches from jovial laughter to extreme intensity on the turn of the dime.

ONLY IN AMERICA/ ANY BEEF?

Do you think they do this in Cairo, Paris, Munich? I can see London doing this. They are kind of on the fence with these sort of things.


15 pound burger

CLEARFIELD, Pa. - The burger war is growing. Literally. Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, which lost its crown as the home of the world's biggest burger earlier this year, is now offering a new burger that weighs a whopping 15 pounds.

Dubbed the Beer Barrel Belly Buster, the burger comes with 10.5 pounds of ground beef, 25 slices of cheese, a head of lettuce, three tomatoes, two onions, a cup-and-a-half each of mayonnaise, relish, ketchup, mustard and banana peppers — and a bun.

It costs $30.

"It can feed a family of 10," said Denny Liegey Sr., the restaurant's owner.

Denny's Beer Barrel Pub had offered a 6-pound burger — with 5 pounds of toppings.

In February, a 100-pound female college student became the first to eat the burger within the three-hour time limit. Kate Stelnick, of Princeton, N.J., was awarded a special certificate, a T-shirt and other prizes and Leigey picked up the $23.95 tab for the burger.

One month later, the Clinton Station Diner in Clinton, N.J., introduced a 12.5-pound burger dubbed Zeus.

So Liegey responded, and the Belly Buster was born.

Over the weekend, four men took the challenge, but couldn't get through the entire burger. They opted for doggie bags, instead.

"It's a little too much for me to handle," said Steve Hepburn, of Clearfield. "It's like trying to eat half a cow."

___

THE NEW PLAN...YOU GET THE IDEA

Okay folks - I think I am hallucinating  and it is really freaking me out. It is possible that I dreamed an entire event this morning.

I don't know if it was real or not.

This brain malfunction might be caused by a slight breakdown which lead to a variety of pill consumption and possible alchohol.

Here is the problem: Tell the truth - end up in psych ward.
                                 Lie: Then my brain won't figure out what is                                real and what isn't.

WHAT ABOUT MY HAIR?

Plus Side: I don't have to worry about my bills/my future/what I am going to wear (keeping up with the usual fashion - Are leg warmers & shoulder pads still okay???)

Negative: The world is going to end.

ROME (Reuters) - Pope Benedict's ascent to the papacy took a conclave of 115 cardinals, four rounds of voting and followed a lifetime of service to the

Vatican.

But ask Internet doomsayers eyeing a 12th century Catholic prophecy and they'll tell you it was all stitched up more than eight centuries ago and that judgment day is nigh.

The prophecy -- widely dismissed by scholars as a hoax -- is attributed to St. Malachy, an Irish archbishop recognized by members of the Church for his ability to read the future.

Benedict, believers say, fits the description of the second-to-last pope listed under the prophecy before the Last Judgment, when the bible says God separates the wicked from the righteous at the end of time.

"The Old Testament states: 'believe his prophets and you will prosper -- so believe it. We are close to the return of the Judge of the nations. Christ is coming," wrote one Internet post by the Rev. Pat Reynolds.

"Thank God for the witness of St. Malachy."