BYTHECATHEDRAL

MY BODY

I realized yesterday  that my body gets used to things - like Sex. It wasn't going to happen this week, and yet my body didn't understand.

Sniffing around. Sex? Is it over here? Sex? Where are you...
My poor body was itching all day. Aching for sex. 

COMMERCIAL

    Rachel

IS KARMA GOING TO HURT ME?

I am under the impression that if we get serious I can stop dating other people. Until then I can date everyone in New York...Is that how it works? I am also not allowed to sleep with other people? Or can I?

In other news:
You know that you usually have a "type". What I want versus what I settle for.

dark hair ( never a problem)
kind ( this seems to be debatable)
open to new things and people ( also rarely get that)
travels (nope. never)
reads a lot (ha-ha)
really funny (nope)
patient ( well. yeah. They are seeing me).
a person I feel a connection with (HA-AHA..whew. ha-ha)
creative ( I get that)
open sexually (yeah- I get that. after much asking)
Someone who understands that if I don't want to have sex that doesn't mean I am not attracted to you. (I only had that problem with one guy)


Note - I had all this for a brief second. Then he vanished. My fault.

DRUNK KISSING

i think I need to clarify just in case anyone makes the mistake that I kiss/have sex with people only under the influence. I am probably the poster child for why drinking is wrong. I need it to loosen me up. Calm down. Do what I want.

I like it. If I kissed you under the influence or completely sober - it means that is what I wanted.

capiche?

FORNICATION

Okay - it is hot and sticky AND i smell like him. Yes, we had sex.

I had SOBER SEX. At some point I reach the stage where I don't need large quantities to make me to touch you. I do so with no substance at all.

Hold the applause.

I am going to be completely honest. Children should not read this.

You know that Harry met Sally movie where he says, "how long do I cuddle before I can get up?" That is me. I am lying there -  he is asleep, and I am staring at the wall.

Thought process.

I am hot. I need to do some shopping. How long do I have to be here. I can't leave. If I leave then there is that whole "booty call" conversation. He should get a DVD player. I have no money. I need to work. It is really noisy outside. I hope no one comes in. I would like to put on my pants, but then there is that whole "booty call conversation". I like him. I mean, I like him enough. There really isn't that spark. There isn't anything to talk about. All this fuss for him. That is the problem - in my head after awhile it seems like a fuss should be made, but then I see him and nothing.  I need to do some laundry. I am so hungry. Can I take out my book and read while he sleeps? Is that rude? I just want to get up.

All that fuss and well, he seems nice enough. Should there be more than nice enough?

Another thing. PLEASE DON'T LET YOUR CHILDREN READ THIS. i don't want to corrupt young minds.

Blow jobs. Yes, I said blow jobs. I like doing them, but for how long? I am sure it says something about my blow job skills that it is taking freakin forever. I am like, either come or fuck me. I can't do this all day.

Oh my. I don't think I've ever been this honest.

COMMON COURTESY Part 2 ERROR

I do apologize...

I skimmed through Page 4 and this is what it said.

Even if it is the first date you still must say something.

COMMON COURTESY Part 2

It is that time again. The time where we take out our COMMON COURTESY HANDBOOK.  This is the second volume.









If you go on a date with someone and it ends potentially badly - you have the decency to tell such person that the chances of another date is nil. This need not apply ( but should anyway) to a crappy first date.

This is the 5th date, and sex is involved. The rules are different. At least according my volume, page 4, it states that clearly.

This is especially true when you are given an out. The "Dear John" is all ready to go. You can fill in the freakin blanks. 

BOOTY CALL

I noticed recently that I don't formulate sentences anymore. It is just a collection of profanity put together.

cock
jackass
dick
fuck

My brain is slowly disintegrating.

I still have my self-esteem.
I canceled a booty call. I saw it coming, and I stopped it. Why? Free sex right? No. It is going to get messy. I am going to get messy, and turn into a wreck. Random Sex + Couple of months = Psycho Bitch.

bitch


It is my own fault. Don't see someone for months? Best possible option? Fuck them. Fuck them and then get your stuff and leave.

FUCK again

Sorry. No booty call anymore Mister. You will thank me later.

YOU'RE SO DAMN PRETTY

I saw a model today. A real life model. I heard of them, and caught a brief glimpse every once in awhile. I see them on television, but there is that piece of glass (and other stuff) that prevents me from holding Michelle's hand.

The point is: I saw a model on the subway. Gorgeous.. Too beautiful for words. She had creamy white skin. Black hair (long).  She looked biracial  - slightly Asian.

The point is - She was so thin. She was wearing a jean jacket  with a dark green shirt ( possibly tank top) underneath. She was wearing jeans. And those boots that you can wear over your jeans.

She was holding an Italian newspaper. Of course she was. Why would she carry anything else?  So fierce. So fabulous. *sigh*

RUN RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN

I am a bitch, but it is better than being a stalker right...*silence*.

I saw the guy I really liked -  Continue walking. I think he saw me, and I know he saw the back of me. It was one of those moments where what the hell am I supposed to do? You didn't want to see me...remember.  We aren't friends. In fact - I am not so sure I like you as a person. Am supposed to wave?  Actually I was supposed to get dinner with my friend, but I said no freakin way when I saw him in the window.  Keep walking. Then came the obligatory " Are you sure it was him? Go back and check." I go back and check.  He is leaving and looks out the window...possibly eye contact (it is all hazy at the point) I say "Oh shit. Keep walking." He is behind us - not exactly couple of rows away.

I have done this twice before. Once at college when I was studying abroad and thought that coming back to college for a week would salvage a relationship that stopped existing months before.

I saw my "ex-girlfriend". I was walking down the stairs to smoke a cig...see her. She sees me. I TURN around and keep walking. She promptly tells the person I am staying with the story and hurtful I was. What the hell was I supposed to do? You broke my heart.

Second time: We went out on two dates. The second date wasn't that great. I didn't like him. So - I am at this museum party thing@PS.1 ( happens over the summer in Queens). I see him, and turn around. "Did he see me?" My friend glances over and says..."He is headed this way." At which point I turn, smile ..and say "HI!!!"

Look - if we were dating, and now we aren't talking. I see no reason to say hi. It might make me a child, and it sure isn't in the common courtesy book, but those are my rules.